August 22, 2008

whiskey tango foxtrot

An Open Letter to the Proprietor of the "Estate" Sale I Attended Earlier Today

Dear sir,

I can only assume that it was you who placed the "Estate Sale - Victorian house and contents" ad in the classified section of our local paper, allowing me to foolishly draw the conclusion that you were holding an estate sale this weekend. After arriving and politely ignoring your stacks of pornography in the corner and the pervasive mildew smell emanating from the many questionable boxes and plastic bags piled all over the house,
you can imagine my surprise when you were reluctant, some would say completely unwilling, to sell many of the items included in your sale. This is a curious new tactic in sales that I was not previously familiar with. In retrospect, I think you may also be the same gentleman I encountered at a community yard sale earlier this summer who tried to convince me that a strange off-brand mixing bowl was "practically the same thing" as Texas Ware and thus warranted the hefty $20 price tag that you had affixed to it. In the future, I think it would be best if you and I are never in the same place again. So, thanks for the seedy morning and I think I'll go wash my hands.


Jennie Lynn

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